TMC on MBA!

More than 360000 MBA students are admitted into 4500 B-Schools, all over India, in a year! It is shell shocking that out of this huge number of MBAs who pass out of the B Schools only ‘nearly’ 10% (36000??!) are employable & have met or exceeded Industry Standards!

And, that is the standard most of the Indian B Schools, which mushroom in every nook & corner of India, provide to the MBA Crazy Generation which is fleeced like anything, round the clock, by these thousands of ‘MBA Fake Dream Seller B Schools’, with the tacit & all covering support of the respective governments, politicians, education bodies like the universities etc!

The amount spent on MBA Education, all over India, is so huge that the piece of information that a ‘MERE 10%’ get themselves qualified as ‘Employable’ IS NOTHING BUT PREPOSTEROUS! The parents & students are taken for a Royal Ride so cleverly & efficiently that the rest 90% of Unemployable MBAs wander aimlessly & hopelessly in the Job Market, searching for the Illusory Job, which was grandly ‘promised’ (‘100% Job Assistance’ & the other kinds of gimmicks, we all are very familiar with!) as a dream, when they entered the MBA Dream Seller Institution, paying through the nose (A large number of students EVEN taking loans from the Wholesomely Fleecing Financial Institutions -WFFIs!)!  

The faculty of most of the MBA Institutions (They ‘grandly’ call themselves ‘Business Schools’ to have a grandiose foreign -Read U.S & U.K- look!) are run of the mill pseudo educators who, most of the times, are the former students who finished their MBA from the Same Institution & Failed Miserably to locate a job despite doing whatever they knew (And, ‘TOLD’ by the Great MBA Institution they studied!) of doing! It IS a pity that most of the MBA Institutions & their ‘Great Faculties’ have NEVER even heard of ‘Industrial Standard’, ‘Quality Management’, ‘Time Management’ sort of ‘simple’ terms! What they ‘try’ to teach has always been the mundane & sundry and ofcourse, the outdated & irrelevant!

The Dreaming Student is Grandly Offered (Through the ‘Focused Feature’ / ‘Right Institution’/ ‘Our Choice’ / ‘Your Choice’ etc in the popular magazines, news papers, visual media etc!) a ‘free’ lap top, a ‘free’ motor bike to roam in the sprawling (government) land area, nearby, a pair each of  ‘free’ French Knickers, English Tie, German Bow Tie, Spanish Shoe Lace, a ‘free’ Cowboy Cap etc by the all alluring MBA Dream Seller! Now a day, what the Dream Seller offers ‘free’ is one of the baits which the parents & students want to swallow, with love & passion! They are ready to swallow even a Blue Whale if that is offered ‘free’ by the MBA Dream Seller!

What these ‘free’ grabbers seldom recognise is “All ‘FREE’ Is Never All ‘FREE’!” & most of the time, what they pay for this ‘free’ is their son’s or daughter’s career and sometimes life! People always forget that like them, who run towards ‘free’, there are lakhs of other people as well, in other parts of our MBA Crazy Country, who are trapped like they are, by the scheming institutions, which are there in hundreds & in all forms & shapes! These MBA Scheming Institutions (MBASIs!) are eagerly waiting for their foolish preys, spreading their sticky nets all over the country, as they know all the IIMs, XLRIs & other Quality Institutions, which are less than 100 in the country, can not take the maddening rush of the MBA Crazy People (Parents & Students!) of India!

Now, the standard of the MBA Courses all over India has become the standard of the Computer Centres (& the courses they offered!) which mushroomed on the entire breadth & width of the country, a couple of years ago! Now, we can have MBAs from the Famous MBA Institute below the bridge (The waterless part of it, actually, where one can learn the all important lessons of illegal sand mining, as illegal mining is the present & future of Indian Money Maker -IMM-!) the Famous MBA Institute behind the country side tea shop (Where any MBA student of that reputed institution  can have a chancy meeting with the regular tea drinker that the MBA student in the institution can have a couple of intuitions as far as the tea business in the country is concerned etc!) the Famous MBA Institute well inside the slum (Where chances of becoming Slum‘Dog’ Millionaires are very high, the ad about the Famous MBA Institution says!) the Famous MBA Institute just beside the beggars’ colony (Where the lucky students get the opportunity to meet the beggars on a daily basis that they can learn & then practise begging professionally under the all supervising eyes of the locally popular professional beggars, the ad says in BOLD letters – as the learning will stand the students of this reputed MBA Institution in good stead when they BEG for a job after the course in the institution!) the Famous MBA Institute next to the Toddy Shop (Where the students can have the first hand knowledge & experience on the great ‘mannerisms’ of the people who visit the shop & become philosophers that the students specialising in HR can have real specimen of human philosophers, ‘live’ & all the other stream students can learn the MBA Tricks of the Toddy Business, the ad says proudly!) etc!  

It is interesting to note that all the ‘ONCE’ tuition centres, which provided ‘specialised’ tuition for up to the class ‘7’, have modified & upgraded themselves as the Most Modern MBA Institutions, from where it is advertised that the most modern of the MBA Graduates will emerge! The great Faculty of these FAMOUS MBA Institutes who have ‘EXCLUSIVE” Industrial Knowledge up to ‘7’ have remodelled themselves with specks, coat, tie and ofcourse, a pair of black shoes- sure it’s an upgradation! They ‘BOLDLY’ even ADVERTISE about their Great Visiting Professors, Faculties & Dignitaries! These Great MBA Institutes DO have visiting professors & faculties as they ‘Hire’ the local pea nut seller, pan wallah, Dhobi, electrician & other ‘Visiting Professors’ to educate their High Quality Pupils; as who can blame them as even IIMs invite the ‘Dabhawallahs’ & Lalus!   

Then comes, to our lives, Correspondence MBA  or CMBA (Most of these much below substandard CMBAs come from the various MONEY MAKING UNIVERSITIES OF Tamilnadu, where ‘Money Is Taken & Education Is Forsaken’, wholesomely!) 1 Sitting MBA, Sure Pass MBA, Ghost Writer MBA, Online MBA, Foreign MBA etc, in hundreds of manifestations! After having one of these MBAs the ‘Swindled Students & Parents’ wander the alleys to find a Quality Job in a Promised Land, with them carrying ‘The 100% Job Assistance’ assurance the MBA Dream Seller offered when they ran for the MBA with a ‘FREE’ offer, a couple of years back! Then only they will understand the fact that Job Assistance is Job Assistance & ‘NEVER’ Job Assurance!

With money, effort, years & dreams gone, they wander for some more time & then will resign to fate, taking up some menial job which they could have got pretty easily even without a PUC/+2 Pass! They will also come to know that the MBA they did stand for Mundane Business Administration & NEVER Master of Business Administration!

And, it will be more than interesting to know that when they go for the menial job, day after day, with the ‘100% Placement Assistance’ offer forcefully thrown to the attic, they will be bombarded from everywhere with the grand advertisements stating about the Quality ‘Free’ MBAs which the Reputed MBA Institutions Near the Arrack Shop, Near the Dumping Ground, Near the Public Toilet, Under the Bridge etc offer......! Still, they will be able to listen to the running steps of the ‘FREE’ grabbing gullible parents & their very easily gullible children!